Friday, August 12, 2005

the gangsta rap drinking game!

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ladies and gentlemen, are you just as bored with mainstream rap music as i am? has your copy of madvillainy been scratched beyond recognition for the past eight months? well, i have a perfect way to pass the time! it's simple, and if you have a friend who listens to so much "gangsta rap" that it's annoying, you can play this game for free! it's the "gangsta rap drinking game!"

the rules are very simple:

*everytime you hear the word "nigga" or "bitch", take one sip of beer.
*everytime you hear a slang term for a gun (burner, toast, etc.) or a gun being referenced by number (.44, .380, etc.), take one shot of vodka.
*everytime you hear the words "bitch" and "dick" used in the same sentence, chug one can of beer.
*everytime you hear the word "hustler", or any reference or slang pertaining to the drug trade, chug one can of beer.
*if you hear the producer's name shouted out anywhere in a song, you must take one shot of vodka.
*for every obligatory love song, chug one can of beer. if the rapper in question uses the words "shorty" or "ma" anywhere in the song, also take one shot of vodka for every time he says it.
*for every "uplifiting black youth" song on the album, take two shots of vodka the next time you hear a gun being referenced.

those are the rules! now, after the most lackluster year in terms of quality that mainstream rap has ever seen [with the exception of any member of the diplomats], you'll be too drunk to tell that the music you're listening to is terrible!

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