the nme's cool list. not very cool.

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today, the nme put out their annual "cool list". names like pete doherty, brandon flowers, and a cornucopia of british [and american] musicians that i've never fucking heard of, are all on the list. here are some of my thoughts about the top 20 artists on this list.

number one. alex turner from the arctic monkeys:
[i still don't know what all the fuss is about over this band. i must be a hater, because i don't hear the greatness. i hear a bunch of libertines covers.]

number two. liam gallagher of oasis:
[his grumpiness and shit-talking is legendary. i don't necessarily agree with everything he says, like his views on bloc party, my favorite british band SINCE oasis. but we need more rock stars like liam gallagher. rock stars who aren't afraid to say whatever the fuck they feel.]

number three. kanye west:
[ummm.. i can't say enough that kanye's coolness is overrated. he's an ambitious artist, but there's nothing cool about pretentiousness, unless you're liam gallagher.]

number five. brandon flowers:
[he's not really that cool. he started a beef with the bravery, and then had the gall to say that they started it. sure, he wears eyeliner and dior jackets. but, he's just a boring dude trying to be a rock staar.]

number six. devendra banhart:
[finally. someone who really is cool.]

number seven. pete doherty:
[he's a creative dude, but self-destruction isn't cool. it worked with kurt, but pete isn't as much of a genius.]

number nine. bob dylan:
[of course he's fucking cool, but this is common knowledge. you don't need to put him on a list. saying "bob dylan is number nine on this list" is like saying "pete doherty is cooler than jesus." blasphemy.]

number fourteen. julian casablancas:
[sure he's cool. but he didn't do anything this year. he's really fucking cool, though. i guess he deserves to be on the list.]

the rest of them, i don't either know about [the only things i know about the girl from be your own pet is that she's like 18 and she's HOT], or didn't care to speak on [billie joe armstrong and gerard way, here's looking at you]. for the most part, the list didn't do anything for me. maybe next year. maybe next year.