vma highlights?

mc hammer.
r. kelly's schitzophrenic performance of "trapped in the closet chapter six."
fat joe's priceless appreciation of police officers: "i have to say that i feel real safe right now, thanks to the police protection provided by g-unit.."
the black dude grooving out to "speed of sound" when chris martin ran into the stands.
diddy giving some random dude his watch, and then giving it to him AGAIN after security took it away.
tony yayo and 50 cent getting bleeped approximately 70 times during their 2 1/2 minute performance.
bow wow being shorter than EVERY girl he stood beside. even his own girlfriend.
missy wearing an outfit that made her look like she was being baptized.
the fact that the outfits that the killers wore are more exciting than their actual performance.
for the first time since either of their names were first mentioned, i can finally say that hilary duff is better-looking than lindsey lohan. oh, and i almost forgot: gerard from my chemical romance was looking pretty damn gangsta in his bulletproof vest.