list season: top 5 beefs of 2005.

a well-known poet named christopher wallace, better known as the greatest rapper of all time, defined beef as: "when your moms ain't safe up in the streets". these days, beef is just a marketing tool to promote both parties involved, in the hypermasculine bloodsport called the hip-hop industry. well, a new trend happened in 2004: white boys in eyeliner started to follow suit and start shit, too. in tribute, here are my five favorite personal conflicts of 2005:

5. bloc party vs. art brut:
i don't really know how this started: i think art brut's lead singer eddie agros said something about not liking bloc party. but i know how it ended: with eddie getting a boot in the head by bloc party's frontman kele okereke, and eddie saying kele "punches like a girl". i'm not taking sides. i like both bands.

4. the killers vs. fall out boy:
so, brandon flowers, being the primadonna he is, got jealous of all of the shine fall out boy were getting [they share an a&r rep at island records-- see also: bravery, the], and spewed out some nonsense in the media. the members of fall out boy responded with some insults or whatever, and the beef was promptly finished in one week, with brandon flowers admitting he likes the band. however, fall out boy did create a clever song title out of it: "you can't spell 'star' without a&r".

3. chamillionare vs. paul wall:
you know the story. they used to be boys, and now they're beefing. chamillionare gets them into the top three soley because of his loving nickname for paul's boy: "dyke jones".

2. the killers vs. the bravery:
brandon flowers' mouth had the most minutes of any player in 2005. early in the year, he said that bands like the bravery only exist because of the killers. which is an accurate statement, but coming from brandon flowers, it makes him seem like an asshole. the bravery responded by saying that picking on the killers is like "pushing a kid out of a wheelchair", and said the bassist looks like "a little dutch girl with a beard" [LOL @ both statements]. the beef kinda died down after a while, and that was that.

1. the game vs. 50 cent:
50 cent kicked game out of g-unit for "disloyalty" because game wouldn't get involved with 50's longstanding beef with fat joe and jadakiss [for being in ja rule's music video, like dude has a career left anyway]. then, 50 goes to the press and talks about how he wrote most of game's album. game releases approximately 32598234 diss tracks [the best of which being "120 bars", which was said to be his "final diss track", which has zingers like "my g-unot tattoo is a small move, because you lost 100 mil to a cartoon", referring to chicken little beating 50's awful movie on its first weekend], thus making 50 cent responsible for his entire career.. again.

fuck that beef shit. that shit is played out.